Luke’s Umma Plan.
It has been an amazing, moving and exciting to experience Luke’s plan to stop using Umma. For those of you that need a little background, you can always read up on “The Story of Umma“.
The more Luke thought about it, the more interesting it became.
When I asked Luke recently about he has thought about saying goodbye to Umma and the possibility of throwing an Umma party to celebrate the years of service, he got excited and said yes immediately, “Can we do it tomorrow“. Part of me knows it is the never yielding delight of having a party and eating and making cake. I suggested we wait for the weekend so we could all be there together and he thought that was a great idea.
Whether by grand design or not, Luke then promptly lost his last Umma. We had been only using it at home and only in the late afternoon and overnights, but that same day he lost it. There was indeed a bit of stress about it that night, we looked quite hard for it, but then he just went to bed, and you know what, he slept great and through the night.
I know it is a coincidence, but part of me can’t help but see that there are times in a small person’s life when they really want something to happen, but cannot make the decision out loud. I was so impressed with how well Luke handled the Umma loss.
We then talked about how to “send umma off” and gave Luke a few ideas, the one he liked the best was burying Umma in the yard and marking it with the red “X” that was found at his treasure hunt party.
The entire time Luke thought, planned and spoke about Umma, Mom and I were so moved by it. It really was his closest friend and one of the most consistent things in his life after Mom and me. That’s a really big deal in my opinion and I was so proud and so happy to be a part of his plan.
We made pumpkin pie (his favorite) and buried old Umma under the “X”, mom cried, I cried, Luke did not, to him I think it is all in a days work.
God bless Luke and god bless Umma.
Lily, you’re up!
Lily has been calling Luke “beau” for quite a few months. At first we figured it was a minimalist version of brother, but at this point I think it is just her name for Luke. I have wondered whether it will stick or not. I mean I like the name and think it fits and for sure Lily has no sign of letting up on calling him Beau.
This is part of the inner conversation that mommy and me have been having about the completely age appropriate worship of the old sibling.
Lily lives and breathes “Beau”, she references him all day long when he is at school, she points to his car seat, she sleeps in his bed, Yesterday when she woke from her nap, her first word was “Beau?”
The other day in RIE class a parent added to this common scenario, “And then it will stop in a breath”, Lily will get to a place where “Beau” is not the pinnacle of everything that she knows. Its just the way it goes.
Right now much of my day when the kids are together, especially at home where there “things” are in play, The constant battle between Lily wanted everything Beau and Luke kinda not really wanting any of it if it gets in the way of his free play or if it takes away from Daddy time. This is a hard and ongoing situation and though I love and cherish Lily’s current state of Beau-ness, there is a part of me that can’t wait for it to be over. But, then of course there will be another intensely complicated and challenging developmental issue to deal with, because that is what parenting is all about. Love, support, interest, understanding and presence, presence, presence.