Post 268: Pee no pee
Its pouring rain, were all set to go out. I tell Lil:
“I gotta pee”
Lil says “me pee too”
We go, undress, takes off boots, rain pants, pants, diaper, she sits on the potty, looks up and says:
“me no pee”
We drop by the market after picking up Luke from school. Luke wants pizza, so Lily wants pizza. I get two slices and we sit down.
“Lily, do you want me to cut some small pieces?”
“Yes, wee, wee”
I cut small pieces, she looks at them and gets upset, she looks at Luke who is eating a whole piece
“big big peece”
I cut her a large piece, to no avail.
I put the pizza down and tell her she can help herself, she goes nutty. Doesn’t like that.
Lily is a complex, highly attenuated, lovely, (did I say complicated) little girl person.
Post 268: Crazy transitions
Not sure if this is a trend and I pray it ain’t, but the first two days back from winter break at Luke’s school and as soon as Luke and Lily get together it is instantly a brawl. Just plain old craziness.
Day one:
We got home and the first thing Luke does is get a whole bunch of baboos (the smallest, round colorful lego’s) and go up to Lily and say, MY BABOOS!!! (in a roar), to which Lily responds NO, MY BABOOS!! (in a roar)
A bit if mayhem ensued crying, sobbing, the end result was me temporarily taking the baboos and explaining that it is not ok to torment your sister (or anyone else) with the baboos.
Day two:
In the car and there is a full on meltdown from both sides over holding onto a strap that attaches to a car seat, I am not even sure what the strap does. Screaming, crying, kicking and general unhappiness ensues.
My perception is that two things happen.
Luke has spent the day in a very structured environment, which he loves, but now it is time to strut his stuff.
Lily has had a quiet, peaceful healthy amount of me time doing her own stuff. She is also at her low point of her day in terms of energy.
Luke wants to express his individuality and to do something that reminds him of his self, Lily lust wants to hang with Luke, but is on a hair trigger.
Result, complete abject misery for all! (but only briefly). Remarkably it passes (with my pointed and not so calm intervention) and the rest if the day goes off without a hitch.
Thats how it has been for the last two days at least, we shall see what happens today!
ps, no I didn’t forget to talk about Christmas
Post 266: In Praise of, not
We try not to praise our kids,
Sounds almost criminal right? It is one of the main tenants we try adhere to from the many philosophies of child rearing that talk about raising a self confident child.
The premise is, if you praise a child, then the child will always be looking for praise as an end result and not be able accomplish things out of a sense of purpose or fun or just because they want to.
We see it in action ALL the time in the world, in both little people and not so little people. A constant litany of “you can do it, your OK”.
At the park. I have seen parents in a complete frenzy almost yelling at their children, that they were OK and that they could accomplish whatever it was they were trying to accomplish. What I think I see on the child’s face is confusion and often intense fear that results in a lot of crying and disillusionment.
One of the many articles that have been handed out to us at our RIE class is a chapter form Alfie Kohn’s book “Punished by Rewards“. which discusses these issues.
And do we do this without ere? of course not, if Luke makes an awesome thing out of Lego, I usually respond very praiseworthy, I guess I just try not to beat him up with it, that is the part that makes no sense.
But, why did I write this post? Because I find it amazing and yes charming that Lily will praise me and mom when we do things she like or that were done by her asking. She offers a hat to put on and when I put it on I hear, “Good Da!“