Luke remembered that there is a “Santa’s mailbox” at mom’s work the other day and instantly dashed this off:
He has been dutifully asking for the Lego Cargo Train for three years, and very nicely explained to me and mom, that is has been that long and that at this point Santa HAS to comply.
I think he is right, and just want to mention that this is also the boy that will energetically and with complete intensity play air hockey on a little battery powered air hockey set by himself and keep score, and stay excited the whole game.
[After the equilibrium/dis-equilibrium post (358) I got a wonderful reply from Luke’s teacher with a few articles on the “Nine Year Crisis”]
Luke’s amazing teacher sent me links to two articles about the nine-year crisis that capture what is going on in Luke’s world. (I know Luke is not nine, but that is part of the wonderful world of child development, NOTHING is set in stone). Once again it is empowering to know we are not alone on this:
Other than the profound nature of what this all means for my dear boy, there is a piece that particularly caught my eye about the celestial nature of this crisis period.
The position of the stars at birth, some say, holds the destiny of the human being. It takes eighteen years, seven months and nine days for the stars to circle back into that exact position. This moment of re-positioning is called a Lunar Node. Often at these moments, every eighteen years and seven months, people tend to change their lives. It is as if the stars in their original position call to the human being and remind them of their true destiny, their true course in life. We re-adjust. The Institute of Noetic Sciences in a 25 year research project on transformative experiences noticed in the research that moments of transformation—Epiphanies—tend to cluster around the ages of eighteen/nineteen; 36 to 38; 55 to 58. Nine-years-old is halfway round the celestial path and it is as if, the stars call the child to grow, to comprehend, and to remember the importance of his or her tasks on Earth.
Halloween got a bit more fun and/or confusing this year. Of course there was the joy/stress of making the costumes. Luke’s was simple as all I had to do was modify an existing robe to help him create “fire goblin”, but Lily offered up a more challenging situation. Initially Luke had convinced Lily to be a sword swallower (??), But, Mom got her off on a better avenue while perusing this wonderful book we found at the library defining every flower fairy you can point your finger at.
Turns out the book and the fairies are all well known, though I had never come across this. Always such a delight to find new found treasures from old school childhood fantasy. (old ways are the best) There is even a dedicated website to the Flower Fairies (of course there is).
As per our routine we did a very short, once around the block trick or treat run, which amounts to a very small amount of candy in the grand scheme of things, yet this is where the fun sort of ends. I will gladly say that both our kids are really great about just having a piece or two a day, (we still have candy left over from last Halloween) there is very little pushing back, but in the days that follow there is a bit of scheming, hiding, counting and re-counting of the “loot”.
Then came the “Switch Witch”
A quick tour of the old interwebs reveals Switch Witch is probably just a marketing ploy, nonetheless there is merit in its concept. The Switch Witch is new to our home. Every question I asked Luke about how the Switch Witch worked, resulted in: “I will have to ask Dashiell tomorrow at school, he knows everything about the Switch Witch”. So, with Dashiell’s help, our version resulted in:
Give up 50% of your Halloween Candy in exchange for a toy of your choice.
The second part was a bit broad, but we were still willing to go with it for one simple reason:
As I said our kids do not eat much candy, yet just having that old pumpkin head sitting around the house certainly stirs up a certain level of craziness that I for one do not enjoy.
Switch With, your on!
A quick trip to Target where I found TWO legos sets on-sale (a rare event in and of itself and mission accomplished.
I keep coming back to this page, not having a clear concise parenting moment to capture. Perhaps that is indicative of the way things are around here these days.
I think being a seven year old Luke is very intense. There has been an out pouring of feelings and the ferocity he undertakes most all endeavors is impressive.
I have to remind myself of this odd, yet totally true battle of equilibrium against disequilibrium.
The Gessell Institue has studied child development for literally 100 years. One of the many cycles they observed are the Childs developmental stages alternating in and out of whack. Called the stages of equilibrium and dis-equilibrium.
Well, I think it is safe to say the Luke is in a stage of dis-equilibrium, and it is really helpful to know that.
Its not about being negative or brooding, more about being frustrated and filled with energy that is not yet found a path. One of the symptoms (not the right word) of dis-equilibrium is that it comes right before an outpouring of pure development, that there is all this growth energy that has not yet been directed.
What I have been seeing in Luke is an intensity and a short attention span.
As a parent it can be quite confusing. Because it feels like one moment everything is in sync and relatively calm and focused and the next it is chaotic and sharp and kind of icky. Boy can it get icky.
We all love the calm, nurturing moments and it makes for such a better easier day, but life is not that simple, so it is important to remind myself that this too shall pass. That is why I am here, to be available and thoughtful and understanding of my families needs.
Under many circumstances I would rely on caloric intake to help fix this imbalance, my experience has been that 90% of the dis-equilibrium in my family (including myself) comes from lack of proper food intake. But in Luke’s case, right now, it is not always that simple. He is just bursting with life force.
I tend not to whip out my camera at the times of dis-equilibrium, so I will not even venture to display that.
“The child is curious, but not with an intellectual curiosity for as yet it has no reasoning powers; and anyone who appeals to the intellect of a child of seven is quite on the wrong lines; but it has fantasy and this it is with which we must deal. It is really a question of developing the concept of a kind of “milk of the soul” For you see, after birth the child must be given bodily milk. This constitutes its food and every other necessary substance is contained in the milk that the child consumes. And when he comes to school at the age of the changing of the teeth it is again milk that you must give him, but now, milk for the soul. That is to say, your teaching must not be made up of isolated units, but all That the child receives must be a unity; when he has gone through the change of teeth he must have “soul milk.” If he is taught to read and write as two separate things it is just as though his milk were to be separated chemically into two different parts, and you gave him one part at one time and the other at another. Reading and writing must form a unity. You must bring this idea of “soul milk” into being for your work with the children when they first come to school.”
This really helps me acknowledge again that this is their world, not mine, I am just trying to make it the best possible transit from birth to adulthood. With a splash of “soul milk”.