Just a catch up photo or two from a few weeks back during the hottest February on record in Los Angeles. We got out the “blue pool” one afternoon.
Luke
Post 285: Huggabuggas
As Lily language skills explode into a full on verbal onslaught, I find a few things come up.
When she only had a few words it was easy to keep up, when most of those words had multiple meanings and were of her own design, it was even easier to have a conversation because there was much room for error. But now she is having full on conversations and it can be difficult to fully understand what she is talking about sometimes. Also keeps you on your toes, like just now she asked me if we could set up the Christmas Tree?
But, really what I wanted to say was how important it is to NOT take kids literally in the department of language, especially when it is concerning partially fabricated ideas.
Huggabuggas
I thought I knew what huggabuggas were, I was pretty clear that they were ghosts, not necessarily bad or scary ghosts, but ghosts that mostly lived in mommy and daddy’s closet.
But today we are in the car and she starts talking huggabuggas and low and behold she is reading a book about BUGS, huggaBUGgas, of course!
Yet the plot thickens because later I hear Luke refer to huggabuggas and ghosts in the same idea and I get really confused, only to realize, here is the deal, don’t take it literally. Huggabuggas are ghosts and bugs and who knows how many other things, THAT is the beauty of it
Post 284: 6
Luke turned six. It was a wonderful day and we were all filled with love, warmth, happiness and Pho.
It seems ages ago, because in kid time it is, there has been so much going on,
I just have not had the chance to do any posting, but I hope the tide has turned, even for a brief time.
For me one of the greatest moments was watching Luke patiently wait for his friends to arrive. This started about three hours prior to the party and continued right up until the first guest appeared.
The preparation was pretty big, Luke had asked for a party that contained:
- building something from wood
- art
- sports
At first Mom and Dad were a bit flummoxed as to how to accommodate all these ideas, but I think we came up with a great solution. We had a pinewood derby-build-your-own-car and race it celebration.
Oh, we built the track as well, all sixteen feet of it!
We also made Pho, Lukes favorite soup and did it right, using this wonderful (and beautiful looking) recipe.
Of course there are not enough photos to do the day justice as Mom and Dad were all really busy, but it was great fun, just a small group, so it did not feel overwhelming for us and Luke had a wonderful time indeed.
Post 283: 10:1
There is a saying amongst the parenting crowds I wander that for every “no” there should be nine yeses, or basically a 10:1 ratio.
It may sound absurd to some or gratuitous to others, but from my perspective it keeps life positive. Even that sounds obtuse, but it seems to work in our household. I say “yes” a LOT. Does this mean that I allow the kids to play in the oven? or sharpen the knives?, no.
What seems to work for us is that with proper boundaries established in the household, the kids ask for permission to do things, and for the most part those things are really great things like “can we have a pillow party?” or “Can we play in the mud?”
Now, the downside of all these yeses is that I find myself chasing my tail some days. The “Can we play in the mud” being a poignant example.
Luke has been digging a hole in his sand/dirt area, and it was only a matter of time before he filled that whole with water and then there is a mud pit to frolic in. A mud pit frolic in at 9am is great for photos, but is a lot for dad to deal with in his daily routine. lots more laundry, lots for showers, lots more cleaning, but did I say yes? I sure did.
Post 282: Parenting Salon
I was asked to be a part of parenting salon. I have never been a part of any salon, so I was thrilled at the opportunity.
We had our first get together the other night. It is being hosted by one of the greatest teachers I have had in my life as a parent.
I talked a little bit about Luke’s internal, fiery, ongoing, mostly internal instructions and Lily’s more cursory, ambling, discovery process.
For Luke what I see is this fixed, focused dialog ongoing, he riffs on everything from what little I hear, songs, books, legos, conversations all intertwined into a magic world that exists only in his head.
For Lily it is more of a search and discovery world. She loves to hide and find, she loves to carry things around and she loves to nurture her “guys“.
One of the salon attendees mentioned a seminar that they had been to discovering the basic cave man instincts of men and woman. The “hunter” male is driven be specific, fixated, focused. The gathering nurturing woman being more accommodating and playful.
It made me think it is time to re-read one of my favorite books as a young student of life, Carl Sagan’s Dragons of Eden. Sagan’s book stays with me to this day as he talks about the reptilian underside of our brain, the “limbic system” being all about instinct, fight or flight and the outer areas being the higher, developed mind where we “think” about stuff. Its a great, simple read and short too!
If we ever are capable to actually tap into the human brain (and I am not saying it is a good thing, but I think it is inevitable) I would be most interested in what it is like to be in a child mind. Oh give me that peace and love and discovery and I will be a happy man forever.